What was your most misguided attempt to impress someone you were attracted to?

I suspect we’ve all seen it: women flock around gay men.

I saw other evidence as well. Women complained constantly about men – that they ogled women, reveled in juvenile sexual explicitness, were emotionally insensitive, and otherwise acted “straight.” I had a pretty dim view of men myself, so I was happy to try to be different from the average.

I had a crush on a coworker of mine, so I tried to emulate her gay male friends. I avoided all references to any attraction to women, swapped recipes with her, dove into women’s issues. One friend told me I was a woman trapped in a man’s body; another, female, called me an “honorary woman.” I was faaaabulous, snap, snap, snap. I figured when she found out I was straight, she would happily go for me.