Not impressed with the Colonel's phallus

Jarrad's picture

In the fall of 1998, I was given 17 minutes of warning before the plane left. I was going to be sent to Mississippi to be a real-world medic for a 4 day exercise. The “battle” was going to be taking place right in the middle of “Tropical Storm Francis”, so for 4 days, troops would be contested against each other in the muggy, muddy backwaters of Mississippi in order that the commander’s could prove to each other how good they were at commanding troops, and hopefully get a promotion out of it. We went from the brown grasslands of Colorado to the verdant deciduous plants of the south. But I remember that entire trip in grayscale. The constant rain blurred the black plant life into the surrounding grey concrete slabs housing white eyed humans in soaking wet uniforms.

The bully got iced

It was the last day of school in the 8th grade. My junior high was adjacent to the high school, so over 600 kids were milling about with that freedom of feeling like you can do anything, and unfortunately, some people acted that feeling. 

Removing a Parking Boot under the Cops’ Noses

Clicheophobe's picture

When I was in grad school I couldn't afford a campus parking permit. But my car had out of state plates, so I just parked on campus anyway and threw the tickets away. One day I came out at lunch time to find my car immobilized by a wheel boot.

I went back into my lab to work, muttering curses as I tweaked my instruments and tended to the equipment. I was so distracted thinking about the boot that I accidentally poured liquid nitrogen on my shoe, freezing it down to -321 degrees Fahrenheit. As I frantically pulled my shoe off to save my toes from frostbite, a light bulb went on in my head. Liquid nitrogen!

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